Friendships:The Drifts And The Rifts
Friendship is a voluntary relationship, a relationship we create and cherish !! We make friends,develop bonds and create unforgettable memories.But are all friendships as unforgettable as the memories they create? Well the answer is definitely “No”.The truth is that our lives do change. And with that change comes some movement in our inner circles of friends.
Friendship break-ups can be so hard. And painful. And sad. And, oh, ever so complicated!!But isn’t it natural to drift apart? With time people change and so do their preferences and priority. Things like a job change or a location change or marriage brings about a change in the friendship. While you may feel some resentment in the beginning, there is a piece of you that understands the shift was nothing personal.We usually start off thinking we’re still going to stay in touch… a Drift most often happens slowly… over time.The worst thing is to lose friendship unknowingly! Or to have to deal with anger down the road because you didn’t take the time to see it coming or to do the work of readjusting your expectations.The important thing is to realize this drift and even more important thing is to decide whether the friendship is important enough to invest your time and energy to revive it.
The best possible way to revive a friendship is to talk and let each other know that you care for each other even though you may not meet or talk that often.Phone calls, emails, chat messengers…technology is available at every step to help you out.It is upto you to revive the relationship. If you don’t value your friendship enough nothing can save it, not even you. I don’t believe we need to hang on to every relationship; nor do I believe we should simply let-go of relationships with people we value simply because life changes. While the actions of both choices may end up looking similar one happens out of negligence, whereas the other happens with our decision or choice.
Sometimes friendships break but not due to drifts but due to the rifts, a rift is when an event or behaviour causes damage to our relationship leaving us hurt, angry, or confused for what we’d consider a grievance or mistake.A Rift is when we feel justified at being mad at them.When a rift comes between a Friendship, the question of revival depends on your ability to forgive the other person for the mistake committed.Rifts are usually very hard on friendships, people claim that they can forgive their friends for the mistakes committed but in reality it is very difficult to forgive and forget. It taints a relationship !! Sometimes we don’t even see it coming, and a friendship on life support has only a slim chance of survival.
Every relationship change requires two people to make an effort to hold onto a relationship, With time we learn how to hang on to some relationships, even when awkward; while also letting go of others, hopefully with intention and eventual peace. The trick is to know how to make that choice.